Like Kirstie Allsopp, I let my son travel alone. Here’s what happened

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Kirstie Allsopp has sparked a heated debate after revealing on Twitter/X that her 15-year-old son has just returned from three weeks interrailing around Europe, staying in youth hostels with his 16-year-old friend.
“They organised the whole thing; Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Berlin, Munich, Marseilles, Toulouse, Barcelona and Madrid,” she wrote, adding: “For obvious budget reasons interrailing isn’t on the cards for everyone, but in this increasingly risk averse world it’s vital that we find any ways we can to give our children the confidence that only comes from trusting them.”
Of the dozens of comments that followed, many criticised Allsopp. One pointed out that “it can be a dangerous world and 15 is not mature enough for all encounters”. Another said: “I don’t have sons but can’t imagine allowing them to go at 16 and definitely not a daughter. It’s not about parents being unnecessarily afraid, it’s about being realistic.” Others, however, praised the trip, sharing their own stories of travelling alone as teenagers. Meanwhile, Allsopp pointed out that it is in fact boys who are more likely to have a violent interaction with a stranger than girls.
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Watching my own 16-year-old son, Herc, struggling to find the bin for his Deliveroo pizza boxes, daily coming up with nefarious reasons for me to put money in his bank account and late for everything unless I am standing by the door yelling at him, you’d wonder how he would manage to catch even one train in Europe. Yet when we offered to take him and five friends to a Greek island for a week after they had finished their GCSEs, what they wanted most was to travel home afterwards by themselves. The journey from the island to Athens airport would involve three ferries and two buses. Nothing like a three-week interrailing odyssey, but there was still some debate among the parents as to whether they would be up to this. I pointed out that my son had been using public transport to go to football training since he was nine. They’d be fine.
True, when we got to Athens airport with them on the way out, we did begin to wonder if we’d made the right call. My son left his camera on the plane; the rest of the group stood looking vacant while I dashed around trying to find the right bus and stop for Piraeus port and where to buy tickets for it. But isn’t that what all kids do when their parents are there to help?
Initially, my son’s Greek grandfather insisted that he should get the ferry back with them but I put my foot down. If they missed a ferry, they would never be late for anything again. I also reminded my father-in-law that he had hitchhiked and ferry-hopped around the north coast of Norway at the age of 19. And that, after my O-levels, a friend and I had flown unaccompanied to the US. And that was before you could use a phone to tell you where you are on the map, call home or receive money with the tap of an app.
The boys made it home without a hitch. Despite a sweaty dash around Piraeus in 40C heat trying to locate the airport bus stop — assisted by my son’s Citymapper app — this journey, I’d say, was the highlight of their trip.
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For teens who finished exams in mid-June it’s been a long summer to be stuck at home, even for those lucky enough to have a one or two-week family holiday. Many, including my son, have spent days and days of it gaming. How much better if more of them were able to take off with a backpack to experience different cultures, see the point of learning a language, learn to budget, and rough it and test themselves?
Are they mature enough to deal with potential danger at age 15 and 16? I know my son, living in east London, probably knows more about this already than I ever did. In fact I worry more about him going out late in London than I would about him travelling across Europe.
Allsopp finished her tweet with the comment: “If we’re afraid our children will also be afraid, if we let go, they will fly.” On a recent trip to Canada to visit relatives I was amazed by the adventurous nature of their children. One had hitchhiked around Iceland aged 18, met some people and sailed with them to the Orkney Islands. Others had kayaked and camped alone in forests with their school friends. What was the advice my relatives gave me? “We never said, ‘You can’t do that.’”
My son has now started saving for a gap year in which he wants to make it from Vancouver to Patagonia with the same friends. Truthfully, it sounds a little ambitious. But I am not going to put him off.